Each of us has probably known a friend or family member who has faced what is sometimes called a “terminal” illness, a condition with little known treatment or prospect of recovery. Or, perhaps we are facing such a situation ourselves.
Many people struggle with issues of purpose when they near the end of life. Dr. Ed Dobson, well-known former pastor of Calvary Church in Grand Rapids, is presently wrestling with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease). First diagnosed in 2005, he has chronicled his thoughts in a 152-page book entitled Prayers & Promises, published in 2007. This is divided into 30 chapters, one for each day of a month: each morning is a prayer of petition with his commentary and each evening is his meditation on a related promise (or answer) of hope and encouragement based on scripture texts. Each of the 30 chapters concludes with blank pages for the reader to enter personal reflections on the day’s lesson.
The book begins with Dobson’s “Introduction from a Fellow Pilgrim” in which he gives the contextual background on discovering his illness, his diagnosis, and his subsequent retirement from the ministry at age 50. He suggests to the reader to read through the chapters in which the author wrestles with God and the “pilgrim” progresses in his spiritual walk. “I encourage you to pray one of these prayers each day. After you have completed this thirty-day cycle, do it again.” Yes, the reader will get more depth and fresh insights on carefully re-reading this book a second and third time. “I am still very much on the journey. I do not have all of the answers.”
The opening chapter notes that “every day is a gift from God.” [p.17] And, the reader is left with the thought that yesterday is past, tomorrow is not yet, today is called the present. That is why we may see it as a gift.
This man of God has a deep faith yet struggles with his doubts. He observes that the “Bible is not the story of us pursuing God. Rather, it is the story of God pursuing us.” [p.19]
Day 4 addresses a common human concern: we want to be in control of our own health but we ultimately are not. “God, I surrender myself and my future completely to You.” Through much prayer, we struggle with the promise of healing and the possibility of a miracle: maybe in this life, but maybe healing will only come in the life to come. [p.33-35]
Day 14 gives a typical outline of Dobson’s dealing with progression of his condition. His morning prayer focuses on “God, help me not to be afraid, for you are with me.” He comments, “I am not afraid of being dead. I know where I am going. But, I am afraid of getting dead…. We are afraid of the process. Throughout the day he reflects on Hebrews 13 in which God has said: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” He concludes the day with reflections on Job 19: “My Redeemer lives, and I will see Him with my own eyes.” [p.76ff]
This leaves me with a personal observation. I have a family member who, after living a life of spiritually wandering in the world, recommitted to her childhood faith in Jesus at age 102. She said to me, “As I get older I have had time to reflect. I now realize I should just trust all things to Jesus and leave it in His control.” Now at age 104 she told me she wants to live many more years. “Having avoided Jesus for so many decades, I want to live many more years to show my gratitude by telling others to trust in Him.” She has discovered purpose! In an age of God’s grace, this is the Holy Spirit working within her.
Like the Apostle Paul, we struggle with which is better. “If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.” [Philippians 1:22ff] This is one of the great themes addressed in Prayers & Promises. Each day is a gift. We have work to do: glorify the Lord. In His timing we will see Him face to face.
~review by Dan F. Bloem